Family,
I am asking whoever receives this first to make sure that mom, dad and all the brothers get this not only to each other, but to the whole French and Freakley family through your contact lists. I know everyone has been asking about Ben III so here we go...
11PM
Monday June 9Th. I had been at camp all day knowing that we were close to be big day as signs of labor had started with Melissa about a day or two before. When I arrived home that evening, she mentioned that it might be the night...and she was right (3 Pt's for me rhyming might / night and right) on with the story. Around 11PM we decided it was time to go in and see if it was indeed baby time. We had been tracking contractions for over an hour and when we left we were around 2-3 minutes apart. "I think I waited to long" Melissa uttered in pain and excitement between contractions as we drove to the hospital with our bags packed.
11:10
We got right into a room when we arrived and had the VIP treatment since Melissa knows just about everyone on every floor of the hospital. It was great because they were making the other moms in labor wait in the parking lot and just wander around until it was time...kidding. Once we got in to the room and they checked out Melissa it was confirmed that this boy was ready to see what his mom and dad looked like. Melissa and I walked laps as she suffered through contractions for another hour until she could be checked again. It should be said that for the past 9 months Melissa had be set on having a natural birth, but as soon as we were in the hospital she looked at me and said "I think I might need something for this." I told her we would do whatever she wanted, but that I did not want her to make a decision she might regret...she gutted it out like a champ and when she was checked again she was ready to be moved to the delivery room.
12:30
Once we got in there things took off. She was fully dilated, ready to push and moments away from her water breaking. She was now getting some big time contractions (about a 7 - 8 on the rictor scale). She was also chewing on a straw and chewing gum to ease the stress. You might think that would look really trashy, but it was even more redneck looking that that as you will see in the pictures...but it did the trick and she did not choke so we may be on to something for Katy to try. The ingredients are straw and gum. I just told you about the ingredients. Dr. Chewning, the Doc that Melissa wanted to deliver BIII was on call that night and we he came in he said he could break the water to speed things up. Melissa was awesome in this moment. She actually told the Doc to wait until Marmie got there so she would not miss the birth. I thought that was really cool of her.
1AM
Marmie got there a few minutes later and it was "Pushing time." These next two hours were probably some of the neatest, scariest, funniest and happiest moments of my life. I experience all emotions during this process and had no idea what was coming. When it was time to push the contractions were fierce. Oddly enough, everything we made fun of in childbirth class was the very stuff that kept us focused that night. The breathing pattern especially helped us through the tough ones. Melissa spent about half the time in the bed and some on the birthing ball just rocking and chewing on that straw gum thing...gross. I can not even begin to describe how awesome she was in these moments. She would push so hard as she grabbed and squeezed at me. I knew she was working as hard as she could to get Ben into this world and watching her there working was an absolutely amazing experience. I just kept on yelling stuff all night and trying to be a coach like always. My routine was basically this
1. "Push!, Push!, Push! your doing great," Keep Pushing!
2. Feed her the ice chips
3. Tell her she is doing great and trying to keep here motivated, comfortable and calm
2:30AM
The tough news came that after all that time of pushing, we were not able to get the baby's head through all the way no matter what. Out of the blue we had to decide on the spot weather or not to do a C section. This sunk me because I knew how much Melissa was looking forward to doing this naturally and I think for a moment we all got thrown off track to put it lightly. I stayed focused on Melissa as we quickly agreed to the C section. The doctors and nurses got to work preparing that and for the next hour, the whole world was changing. Picture this if you will. It is Melissa, me, Elena and mom in the room by our self. Melissa is still having big contractions, but now is not allowed to push because it could really hurt Ben. Knowing this, she is being so strong to make sure he will be OK. In the meantime, Elena and Mom are in the room pacing around nervously and staring to cry. It is me and the three ladies in there and now we are just waiting. And the waiting lasted forever.
3:00AM
The nurses bring me my surgical gear and briefed me on what was going to happen. They took Melissa and for the next 20 minutes I was not able to be with her as they got her ready in the O.R. for the C Section. Meanwhile I was dressed head to toe in surgical gear pacing back and forth until it was time to go in. Mom and Elena were not saying anything now and just sitting there. I could tell they were worried. I had already prayed before we went into the hospital for the safety of Melissa and BIII and did not need to pray again because I knew the good lord was listening the first time.
3:20AM
I get the nod that it is time for the big moment. Melissa was "in the spirit world" when I walked. The meds had kicked in and she was calm, alert and talkative...really talkative. I was just thinking about her and Ben and could not really concentrate on anything but seeing him and hearing him cry. They had us both behind a drape and told me that when it was time, I could stand up and watch as they pulled him out. I sat and held Melissa's hand and watched in the reflection of the surgeon and doctor's glasses as they worked to get Ben out. Let me just say those were the most tense moments of my life.
3:42AM
One of the doctors gives me the nod to stand up. It was time to see my son. I stood. I watched. I saw as the Doctor pulled out this giant misshapen head covered in slime and I waited. I waited and listened for the most delightful sound to come. And then it did. I heard Ben cry his first tears and I cry again now writing this as much as I did that night. I knew he was OK. I also realized that I will be worrying about this boy for the rest of my life and I had only known him for 10 seconds. My life changed.
3:45AM
They bring him over and I lost it. I could not see I was crying so hard as they handed my boy to me. I sat down next to Melissa and we wept together. It was so awesome and I can't wait for you guys to go through it. After holding him a few minutes, they took Ben and I out so Melissa could go to the recovery room. Marmie and Abuela were waiting and I gave them both the thumbs up as we came out. They hugged and were so happy.
4:00AM
We took Ben III for all the test, put him under the warmer and I just stood there trying to put it all together. I was overjoyed standing there with him, but at the same time, disappointed that Melissa was still back in recovery. Meanwhile, Marmie and Elena are up against the glass outside the nursery like a couple of 5 year old kids at the zoo seeing the lions for the first time. I think their drool is still pressed on the glass. Looking at Ben and then back at mom I read her lips as she told me something that made more sense to me and gave me more clarity than any single sentence I have ever heard. "Now you know how much we love you" she said. And it is true. Looking down at Ben as he just sat there looking up at me I was instantly filled with complete love for him.
4:20AM
They let the grandmothers in the nursery. I won't even begin to describe that seen. Just try and picture two hyenas competing for a piece of meat. Elena was there speaking Spanish to him as mom just kept pointing out how funny shaped his head was. I thought he was beautiful.
4:45AM
Melissa gets out of the recovery room and for the first time I had her Ben. It was such a great moment having the three of us there together finally. We stayed up for another hour with him just holding him and looking at him and his huge head of hair. everyone was exhausted at this point. The grandmothers went home to the house and me, Ben III and Melissa decided that would be it for the night. They took Ben back to the nursery for the night to keep watch over him and we went to sleep. 3:42AM on June the 10Th. He was one day early from his due date.
We brought him home on Friday and so far mom, dad and Stu have gotten to hang out with BIII. We had an awesome weekend with the new uncle and grandparents. Dad and I took on a little project as well to celebrate Ben coming home. Thanks again for that dad. And mom...thanks for everything...you were great and he loves his marmie.
Attached are several pictures and we will have more to follow as well. I hope you guys enjoy them. We can't wait for you to meet the little guy. We have had him home for about 5 days now. He pretty much likes to breast feed, poop, pee, pee on me, pee on himself and if the mood strikes him, he might sleep. He likes me to sing him "Tom Dooley, Oh Shenandoah, and his favorite...Edelveis." I have changed a lot of diapers, given him a bath and held him every chance I can get. Melissa is a wonderful mom in every sense. She is so beautiful with him and I love coming home to see him in her arms. Yesterday the three of us watched soccer on the couch together as a family. I gave him the play by play and think for a minute he smiled when France lost to Italy. That is it for now. I will get some more pictures out soon. When you can, please pass this on to the family.
I love you guys,
Ben
Melissa
Ben III
I am asking whoever receives this first to make sure that mom, dad and all the brothers get this not only to each other, but to the whole French and Freakley family through your contact lists. I know everyone has been asking about Ben III so here we go...
11PM
Monday June 9Th. I had been at camp all day knowing that we were close to be big day as signs of labor had started with Melissa about a day or two before. When I arrived home that evening, she mentioned that it might be the night...and she was right (3 Pt's for me rhyming might / night and right) on with the story. Around 11PM we decided it was time to go in and see if it was indeed baby time. We had been tracking contractions for over an hour and when we left we were around 2-3 minutes apart. "I think I waited to long" Melissa uttered in pain and excitement between contractions as we drove to the hospital with our bags packed.
11:10
We got right into a room when we arrived and had the VIP treatment since Melissa knows just about everyone on every floor of the hospital. It was great because they were making the other moms in labor wait in the parking lot and just wander around until it was time...kidding. Once we got in to the room and they checked out Melissa it was confirmed that this boy was ready to see what his mom and dad looked like. Melissa and I walked laps as she suffered through contractions for another hour until she could be checked again. It should be said that for the past 9 months Melissa had be set on having a natural birth, but as soon as we were in the hospital she looked at me and said "I think I might need something for this." I told her we would do whatever she wanted, but that I did not want her to make a decision she might regret...she gutted it out like a champ and when she was checked again she was ready to be moved to the delivery room.
12:30
Once we got in there things took off. She was fully dilated, ready to push and moments away from her water breaking. She was now getting some big time contractions (about a 7 - 8 on the rictor scale). She was also chewing on a straw and chewing gum to ease the stress. You might think that would look really trashy, but it was even more redneck looking that that as you will see in the pictures...but it did the trick and she did not choke so we may be on to something for Katy to try. The ingredients are straw and gum. I just told you about the ingredients. Dr. Chewning, the Doc that Melissa wanted to deliver BIII was on call that night and we he came in he said he could break the water to speed things up. Melissa was awesome in this moment. She actually told the Doc to wait until Marmie got there so she would not miss the birth. I thought that was really cool of her.
1AM
Marmie got there a few minutes later and it was "Pushing time." These next two hours were probably some of the neatest, scariest, funniest and happiest moments of my life. I experience all emotions during this process and had no idea what was coming. When it was time to push the contractions were fierce. Oddly enough, everything we made fun of in childbirth class was the very stuff that kept us focused that night. The breathing pattern especially helped us through the tough ones. Melissa spent about half the time in the bed and some on the birthing ball just rocking and chewing on that straw gum thing...gross. I can not even begin to describe how awesome she was in these moments. She would push so hard as she grabbed and squeezed at me. I knew she was working as hard as she could to get Ben into this world and watching her there working was an absolutely amazing experience. I just kept on yelling stuff all night and trying to be a coach like always. My routine was basically this
1. "Push!, Push!, Push! your doing great," Keep Pushing!
2. Feed her the ice chips
3. Tell her she is doing great and trying to keep here motivated, comfortable and calm
2:30AM
The tough news came that after all that time of pushing, we were not able to get the baby's head through all the way no matter what. Out of the blue we had to decide on the spot weather or not to do a C section. This sunk me because I knew how much Melissa was looking forward to doing this naturally and I think for a moment we all got thrown off track to put it lightly. I stayed focused on Melissa as we quickly agreed to the C section. The doctors and nurses got to work preparing that and for the next hour, the whole world was changing. Picture this if you will. It is Melissa, me, Elena and mom in the room by our self. Melissa is still having big contractions, but now is not allowed to push because it could really hurt Ben. Knowing this, she is being so strong to make sure he will be OK. In the meantime, Elena and Mom are in the room pacing around nervously and staring to cry. It is me and the three ladies in there and now we are just waiting. And the waiting lasted forever.
3:00AM
The nurses bring me my surgical gear and briefed me on what was going to happen. They took Melissa and for the next 20 minutes I was not able to be with her as they got her ready in the O.R. for the C Section. Meanwhile I was dressed head to toe in surgical gear pacing back and forth until it was time to go in. Mom and Elena were not saying anything now and just sitting there. I could tell they were worried. I had already prayed before we went into the hospital for the safety of Melissa and BIII and did not need to pray again because I knew the good lord was listening the first time.
3:20AM
I get the nod that it is time for the big moment. Melissa was "in the spirit world" when I walked. The meds had kicked in and she was calm, alert and talkative...really talkative. I was just thinking about her and Ben and could not really concentrate on anything but seeing him and hearing him cry. They had us both behind a drape and told me that when it was time, I could stand up and watch as they pulled him out. I sat and held Melissa's hand and watched in the reflection of the surgeon and doctor's glasses as they worked to get Ben out. Let me just say those were the most tense moments of my life.
3:42AM
One of the doctors gives me the nod to stand up. It was time to see my son. I stood. I watched. I saw as the Doctor pulled out this giant misshapen head covered in slime and I waited. I waited and listened for the most delightful sound to come. And then it did. I heard Ben cry his first tears and I cry again now writing this as much as I did that night. I knew he was OK. I also realized that I will be worrying about this boy for the rest of my life and I had only known him for 10 seconds. My life changed.
3:45AM
They bring him over and I lost it. I could not see I was crying so hard as they handed my boy to me. I sat down next to Melissa and we wept together. It was so awesome and I can't wait for you guys to go through it. After holding him a few minutes, they took Ben and I out so Melissa could go to the recovery room. Marmie and Abuela were waiting and I gave them both the thumbs up as we came out. They hugged and were so happy.
4:00AM
We took Ben III for all the test, put him under the warmer and I just stood there trying to put it all together. I was overjoyed standing there with him, but at the same time, disappointed that Melissa was still back in recovery. Meanwhile, Marmie and Elena are up against the glass outside the nursery like a couple of 5 year old kids at the zoo seeing the lions for the first time. I think their drool is still pressed on the glass. Looking at Ben and then back at mom I read her lips as she told me something that made more sense to me and gave me more clarity than any single sentence I have ever heard. "Now you know how much we love you" she said. And it is true. Looking down at Ben as he just sat there looking up at me I was instantly filled with complete love for him.
4:20AM
They let the grandmothers in the nursery. I won't even begin to describe that seen. Just try and picture two hyenas competing for a piece of meat. Elena was there speaking Spanish to him as mom just kept pointing out how funny shaped his head was. I thought he was beautiful.
4:45AM
Melissa gets out of the recovery room and for the first time I had her Ben. It was such a great moment having the three of us there together finally. We stayed up for another hour with him just holding him and looking at him and his huge head of hair. everyone was exhausted at this point. The grandmothers went home to the house and me, Ben III and Melissa decided that would be it for the night. They took Ben back to the nursery for the night to keep watch over him and we went to sleep. 3:42AM on June the 10Th. He was one day early from his due date.
We brought him home on Friday and so far mom, dad and Stu have gotten to hang out with BIII. We had an awesome weekend with the new uncle and grandparents. Dad and I took on a little project as well to celebrate Ben coming home. Thanks again for that dad. And mom...thanks for everything...you were great and he loves his marmie.
Attached are several pictures and we will have more to follow as well. I hope you guys enjoy them. We can't wait for you to meet the little guy. We have had him home for about 5 days now. He pretty much likes to breast feed, poop, pee, pee on me, pee on himself and if the mood strikes him, he might sleep. He likes me to sing him "Tom Dooley, Oh Shenandoah, and his favorite...Edelveis." I have changed a lot of diapers, given him a bath and held him every chance I can get. Melissa is a wonderful mom in every sense. She is so beautiful with him and I love coming home to see him in her arms. Yesterday the three of us watched soccer on the couch together as a family. I gave him the play by play and think for a minute he smiled when France lost to Italy. That is it for now. I will get some more pictures out soon. When you can, please pass this on to the family.
I love you guys,
Ben
Melissa
Ben III
5 comments:
He is such a beautiful baby! He has come into a wonderful and loving family. I am looking forward to his first visit to Fort Monroe. Congratulations! Paul, Melinda, Aaron & Karina Garcia
We are so happy for the entire family over Ben III's arrival. Marme and I use to talk about the day she would become a "Marme" when we were at Ft.Drum. She would get so excited I can't imagine now that it's a reality. Please tell Susan I'm giving her time to settle back down to Earth before calling, but wait...by then there'll be another little fellow to gush over. How exciting. The pictures were beautiful and Ben your narrative should be published. I think you missed your calling as a writer. Blessings to all and give little Ben lots of hugs and kisses.
Congratulations,
James and Julie Terry
Well, Daddio, you hit the nail on the head! And I cried through the whole thing! I so wish that Henry and I were there to see him as we awaited his arrival with such joy! WE miss all three of you terribly and cannot wait to make it "back East" to see you all! Much love-
Henry and Leah
Baby Ben is so adorable! We can't wait to meet him and welcome him into this wonderful family. Great work Ben and Melissa. We couldn't be happier for your new family of three!
Love you,
Aunt Abby
Caitlin sent us the photos. It's a wonderful time in your lives and the Lord has blessed you so richly. It's a lifetime blessing!!
Kyla and Collin Roche
Delhi, New York
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